tippiseagram’s blog

Okay, so last year I was really good and wrote everyday..but unfortunately, it’s been kinda uneventful so far….the weather here has been so cold and rainy …and I packed so poorly (who packs tube tops and gauchos?) that the beer tent has been out of question for the last week..and well, I’m still trying to play catch up and get press kits out to Winnipeg, get printing ready for London and sit patiently with bated breath for all important venue announcements from Edmonton…for some reason I just feel like I’m waking up from a very long sleep that started about the time I left Vancouver last year…I’ve also realized that it’s almost one year ago that I bought my current jeans and they are pretty threadbare…you see I had just hit Winnipeg and by the second day or so put my foot through the knee of my pants..I immediately went out and bought a new pair so my new billet wouldn’t think I was white trash…I am of course white trash, those that know me know I saved them so I could make shorty shorts out of them! ewwwww!…but I can put on airs too you know…so I’m thinking I should continue to hold out with these ones and make it a yearly Winnipeg tradition…I’m pretty much considering Ottawa to be a workshop because up until June 16 this show had never seen the light of day…so every night it changes…sometimes I think, it needs more funny, then it’s, I gotta make them cry, other nights more angst…so if you like watching people on the edge of the abyss…catch the show now before it hits
Winnipeg confident in what it will be….but on the plus side I have been able to take in some great shows….starting with in no particular order….Teaching as you like it, Opposite of Affinity,Bye Bye Bombay, Jem Rolls up, Miss April Day’s school for Burgeoning young strippers, Jesus in Montana, Burden of Poof and Lounge-zilla….all of which I would recommend…on a weird sighting, the area that I’m staying in has a huge deer population and every night when I roll in about 2am there are always a lot out along the side of the road…apparently they like to eat gravel…why do these stupid animals do this and why do the roads department continue to feed them….anyway, weird sighting…I come upon 2 young deer standing about 15 feet away from me with a house cat, Mr Whiskers, standing about 3 feet away from them…it was like I had accidentally stumbled upon a meeting of minds…so I roll up quietly in the car, Mr Whiskers immediately beelines behind my car away from the scene with his little bell a ringing…the deer stay still…5 min later something spooks them and they start to scurry off and out of no where comes Mr Whiskers flying after them, jingling up a storm, so very menacing in his minuteness, that pussy was on fire…it’s a very weird and secretive world this cat world

Dear Scoundrel who stole this private video from the Tippi Seagram collection:

It has come to my attention that you have made an unauthorized use of my copyrighted work labelled [Not to be seen sex video-turns out really bad for me and I look fat in it] (the “Work�) in the preparation of a work derived therefrom. I have reserved all rights in the Work, first published in [omg I’d never publish this], [and have registered copyright therein]. Your work entitled [Tippi Seagram’s Unauthorized Sex Video] is essentially identical to the Work and clearly used the Work as its basis. [so give it back and take it off youtube!]

As you neither asked for nor received permission to use the Work as the basis for [Tippi Seagram’s Unauthorized Sex Video] nor to make or distribute copies, including electronic copies, of same, I believe you have willfully infringed my rights under 17 U.S.C. Section 101 et seq. and could be liable for statutory damages as high as, oh let me see, maybe one million dollars?…I don’t know, it’s just bad! really bad! as set forth in Section 504(c)(2) therein.

I demand that you immediately cease the use and distribution of all infringing works derived from the Work, and all copies, including electronic copies, of same, that you deliver to me, if applicable, all unused, undistributed copies of same, or destroy such copies immediately and that you desist from this or any other infringement of my rights in the future…that is unless you steal one of the videos where I look really smoking hot in it… If I have not received an affirmative response from you by [the end of my current Canadian Festival Fringe Circuit]
Toronto-
Factory Theatre Mainspace July 6-14
…..buy your tickets now, www.fringetoronto.com

Winnipeg- The Playhouse- July 18-28
London- Spriet Family Theatre- Aug 1-6
Edmonton- Tippi Seagram’s Happy Hour-TBA- Aug 16-26
indicating that you have fully complied with these requirements, I shall take further action against you….bitch.

Very truly yours,
Tippi Seagram

Credits and Thanks to

Tippi Seagram- Herself
Italian Lover-Costa Alexander
Heart Attack Lover-John Harte
Hungry Lover-Devlin Bishop
Little Person Lover- Paul Settle
Writer- Colette Kendall
Director-Stephen Strangways
Editor- Kathy Garneau

Copywrite 2007 Colette Kendall All rights reserved

Well this blog is typical of how I feel right now….about 4 days behind….the past 3 days have been a whirlwind of driving, writing, re-writing, slashing, editing, throwing the pages on the floor and stomping them, sleep deprivation and mental breakdowns…..ahhh!!! I love fringing!!!!…ok so I left Hamilton on Friday morning at 6am for my 2pm tech call with 3 hours sleep…lasted to Kingston where I caught 30 in a church parking lot…sat through numerous construction sites on the 17 then finally hit Ottawa with enough time to drop suitcases at my mother’s and then head for the venue..now I was going on memory as to where locations were and in particular where parking was…so I turned down the street that had just 2 years ago housed a parking lot…I was then promptly provided a police escort as it was the Ottawa transit depot….so with a stiff fine imminent, late now for my tech and no registration with me, well I did the only thing I could do….CRIED LIKE A BIG OLE BABY…BIG WEEPY, SNOTTY TEARS!!!!!! and then was allowed to go about my business because I was obviously a perimenopausal psychopath…..believe me, Day 1 did not get any better..so lets skip to Day 2….first performance…yep…let’s skip to day 3….second performance..ok, much better!…there is light at the end of the tunnel, I just have to let Tippi take over for me again and everything will be fine…how creepily unbalanced does that sound?…so Day 4 is a day off, first day of internet access and I’m playing catch up then hitting some shows tonight….what has been wonderful is connecting again with all the great people and fabulous performers that I have met over the past 2 years of fringing namely: Jeremy Dias (he has a wonderful foundation at www.jersvision.com so check it out) and his family, Courtney Cunningham(Burden of Poof), Tania Levy(opposite of Affinity), Jem Rolls,(Jem Rolls up) Keir Cutler(Executing Shakespeare), TJ Dawe(Maxim and Cosmo), Jayson McDonald( Giant Invisible Robot) and so many more that I will mention over the next few posts….and all the new friends I’ve met…Dennis and Fiely from Loungezilla…love these guys!..Gemma Wilcox(the Honeymoon period is officially over)…and old toronto friends like June Morrow(Miss april days school for burgeoning young strippers) and Dave MacKay (www.torontoclown.com)…and not to forget the fabulous people of Ottawa who I am just finding out are wonderful supporters of the incomparable Ms. Seagram and who missed her last year!….so thank you very much for the kind words they have really meant alot to this old broad

Kit Kittredge: An American Girl Mystery is a theatrical movie based on the American Girl character, Kit Kittredge, who lives in the Great Depression in Cincinnati, Ohio. It is scheduled to be released on July 2, 2008.
Recently, updated details on the Kit movie were posted on Variety’s website, among others. It will be produced by Julia Roberts, released by Picturehouse, and written by Ann Peacock. It was originally scheduled to be released in theaters in Fall 2007. However, there were some production difficulties that made this impossible. Abigail Breslin has been chosen to play Kit Kittredge, the main character, and filming is scheduled to begin on May 29-July 13, 2007. Other cast members include, Joan Cusack, Chris O’Donnell, Jane Krakowski, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Julia Ormond, Stanley Tucci, Glenne Headly, Wallace Shawn..Thanks Wikipedia!…..now on a more personal note, I’m absolutely thrilled to be cast…It’s a small role, but it’s a very dramatic one which I love to do…I originally auditioned for the role of one of the ‘mothers’ at the garden tea party for Tina Gerussi ..I was a little freaked as this woman is one of the top casting directors in Toronto…and well, for the most part I always think I suck…but she was very kind, patient and warm..so I left feeling that I hadn’t embarrassed myself…and then taadaa..I get a message that the director, Patricia Rozema, would like to see me and audition me for another part, Mrs. Stone…again, another very nice woman! She made me feel extremely comfortable and guided me through the audition…it was a pleasure!…so, as I said, I’m thrilled to be cast!…and I’m looking forward to the final product as I get to chase live chickens!